All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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