yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
