You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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