YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
