i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
