dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
