so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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