TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
