I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hippo gnu deer
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
