great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
