I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
