I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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