He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
