it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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