look no pants
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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