hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
