Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
