I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
