are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
