I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
