Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
