We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
