He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
