oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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