Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
