Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
