How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
