I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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