thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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