I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
