Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
