I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
