Your tits are I can't wait for
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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