the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
