is your mom at the bar?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Randomize
