Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love you. Go after that dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
