Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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