Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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