sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
