Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
