It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
