Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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