The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
