when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
