did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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