oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Randomize
