he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
