y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
