let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
