If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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