That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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