I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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